


All these things that I've done

by Fuckingstalememe



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, don't ask about the time, i love ty guy, its probs triggering, or why the live in LA, sorry im evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-29 18:09:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 10,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11446257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuckingstalememe/pseuds/Fuckingstalememe
Summary: Tyler is sad. Josh is sad. life is hard. so is writing. im so sorry.





	1. Ty Guy

**Author's Note:**

> listen this started as a short story then i made it about Tyler and Josh and it went downhill for there. i promise its not as bad as i make it seem. please be nice, i thrive off praise. ps sorry for any errors SOMEBODY refused to edit it for me. pps i promise it gets better.

I was sitting on my bed talking to my boyfriend. The house was almost empty which was a very rare thing now a days with normally an average of like eight people in. The only people left besides me were Zack and Josh now though. Everyone was going home for the holidays, but Josh still hadn’t done his packing. I had just finished ranting at him for being behind. “Are you done now?” he said, walking over to me on the bed. “I don’t know, are you?”  
“Yes”  
“Then so am I”  
“Good” he kissed me  
“Good” I kissed him  
Eventually we were full on making out and it got more and more and it was almost getting to be too much. It was too much. “Baby, baby I need to slow down.” I pressed my palms into his chest. “I'm sorry it’s it's too much right now. Just kiss me, kay?” He sat up and scooted a little ways back to give me room to sit up too. “Let's take a break and we can just lay here until we have to leave okay?” I nodded and he laid me back down, pulling my body up to his. I pressed my face into his neck and mumbled the lyrics to a song I had written awhile back.  
“Hey hey  
Wouldn’t it be great great  
If we could just lay down and wake up in slowtown.  
Today day  
I wanna go away way  
Cause things are too fast now  
I wanna be in slowtown.”  
“Nice choice, you really can really read the room huh?”  
“Got to have the best for my best guy.”  
“Um false, I am trash.”  
“You are not. I love you and so does everyone else in this house”  
“It's just you, me and Zack, that is not a lot of people.”  
“No, I mean everyone who lives in the house.” I sit up, his arm still wrapped around my waist. “Everyone loves you Jish, that's what make you so great. You are so smart and pretty and you light up every room you're in. You can drum better than most people in the world and you are so so funny. You are so talented and amazing and in no way are you trash.” I was talking very fast by then and his eyes had grown wide. I might have gotten a little loud… and angry. Just I love this man so much and to see the pain he felt about himself even if he was just joking hurts me and I cannot stand to see someone so amazing call themselves trash. I mean he was… is not me. I’m trash. I'm the one who should being that stuff. I mean at least I would be telling the truth unlike him, just straight (haha straight) up lying about being trash when he is such an amazing human . He had started looking at me strange. He was going to say something.   
“Ty, so are you. You are the most amazing singer in the world and the most amazing boyfriend and I love you so much and I still can’t believe that you are not coming back to Columbus with us for the holidays, I mean just last year you were saying you were never going to move away and here you are, not going back.” He finally brought it up. I really hoped he wasn’t going to do that. I tried really hard to stay away from that topic and yet here we are, about to talk about it. Frick. Lucky for me a handy plot device walked right on into my room at that very moment. “God I hope you both have clothes on.” Zack had his arm over his face to cover his eyes. “ We’re all fully clothed here bud.” Josh said. Zack put his arm down before looking at me. “It's time to go ty guy!”  
“Ugh stop with that nickname, it’s time to retire it.”  
“Never, Ty guy.” Zack reached down to help me off the bed.  
“I’m going to start calling you ty guy during sex now. Oh yes TY GUY! OooOOO Ty guy.”  
“You guys are the worst people in the world. I'm going to crash the car on the way to the airport.”  
“ Nah you love us too much” Josh leaned in to kiss me. I'm so glad it is this easy to distract him.  
“Well i'm going to go wait in the car then.”   
“ Okay we'll be there in a second.” Josh nodded at him, still looking me in the eyes.  
“So are you going to tell me why you're staying here?” I shook my head, eyes wide, and pressed my mouth to his. “Come on we have to get to the airport so you have time to get to security.”


	2. JOsh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh is on a plane. who would have guessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What what a change of POV are you crazy Evie? okay so i wrote this after writing like half of Tyler's stuff because i thought it would be cool and then i ended up ranting about going to Ohio cause i wrote it after driving to Ohio from Kansas and missing the trees in Ohio cause im a nerd okay bye. PS yes all the chapters are this shot because i like to torture people, but you'll find that out soon enough.

The plane was too crowded and small and even though I was (and still am) pretty short I still felt incredibly cramped next to a sleeping Zack and with the dark country below us. I don’t know why we choose to fly in the evening, it was all such a bad idea and Ohio was like three time zones away. It was already really late in Ohio and we had to have Jenna come pick us up and take us to the hotel because we knew she would be the only one up and willing to take us. I was starting to overthink and over plan everything but that's what happens when anxiety over takes you. It seemed impossible that Zack could fall asleep. I mean he was like the only one asleep on the plane seeing as it was still like 6 back in LA. We had to somewhere between Kansas and Missouri which sucked because those were the biggest full states we had to cross.Well that and Arizona but we crossed that an hour ago. Honestly I think Missouri and Kansas are literally hell. I mean have you ever driven across Missouri? It is the worst. I drove the 33 hour trip from Columbus to LA once and I swear I will never do it ever again. Missouri is so fucking boring and it takes forever. Of all the states between Ohio and Kansas, Missouri takes to longest. But once you get to Kansas it is just as bad, actually worse. It takes way longer, two more hours, and it is some how more boring than Missouri! The whole Midwest sucks, it's just corn and trees, but not even the good trees. I miss the trees in Ohio. they are such good trees. They are really tall and really skinny and they look like a bob Ross painting. Fucking Midwestern trees are fat and look like they all cause allergies. Now I miss Ohio even more, i'm so glad i'm gong back. I wonder why Tyler isn't’ coming with us I mean what could be sto… oh. Last he was there he… “Josh! Stop moving so much we still have like two more hours of our flight!” I guess I should try and sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should maybe make a posting schedule but i don't want to so i hope no one gets attached to this. also add me on spotify.


	3. My bad keyboard finally pays off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive give up on summaries cause they suck.

I finally got home from work and… I forgot how empty the house was. Josh and Zack had only been gone for about thirty hours and I was already too sad to function properly. It wasn't dark yet but it was getting there. I was quick to make dinner and get up and into my bed. I had gathered every pillow and blanket in the house. I did not want to leave my bed again until morning. I put on an old episode of the office before turning on my phone. I was impossibly tired but I was not going to fall asleep anytime soon. I first checked instagram. Just whole bunch of selfies and some memes. Twitter had similar things. I had a couple of missed texts. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone but it was something to do.  
Goddess Jenna♡♡♡: Hey bb just checking I 2 see how you were diong. Everything I fine on my end. My parents say hi and hope you are doing great ack in LA. as always everye is askiga million qestions and im still not used to the time shift soverything is a littleconfusing and I may or may not have gone out and goten a little drunk. Okay Ty gt to go were doing shots now byeeeeeeee ily!!!♡♡♡  
Me: Everything is great jenna I hope you don’t have too bad of a hangover. Tell your parent I say hi back and that everything is great here in LA just like im sure you said they were. Ily2 bye♡

My Main Man Mark: Hey dood just checkin in to see if you are doing and asking for sober J+J if either of them sent something bad ( i was stuck being DD cause you aren’t here)  
Me: They haven’t sent anything too bad yet. sorry about you being DD but at least i know you’ll keep my boyf safe. Oh and jenna and the sibs 2. LY dood (no homo)

Zack: Mom and dad are lowkey high key really mad that u arent here. I have already gotten a bunch of happy texts from Tatum checking up on me tho. I think she is going to be staying around. Anyway other than mom and dad being pissed at you everything is chill. Have fun with the house to yourself.  
Me: okay good luck with tatum dude good night. Tell mom and dad im sorry.

My phone buzzed. It was jenna.  
Tyle you are so good I loe you dude youe m favoreite person ou are so nice and oy care abut everyone so much. I hope ou and jsh live happlu ever after cause you two are the est. I miss ouy ty guy♡♡♡  
Me: Jenna go to sleep , its what like 2 am there. Go to bed drink some water try not to get too hungover. I love you too. And Try and find Josh and tell him I love him

♡♡♡Jishwa♡♡♡: HEy babe I love you soMush yuo are so gret I miss you somemuch we all wishyou were heere I hope you now I love you I wantotmarry you ne dayokay babe I love you seee you soooooooooon mmmmbbab I love you.  
Me: I love you too jish. I miss you so much and I promise I will see you soon. Drink some water and go to sleep. Good luck with not getting caught taking Jordan And Maddy out for drinks. Have fun!

Mom: Sweetie, you know I respect your choices, most of them, but I hope you know how much your dad and I miss you. I wish you would reconsider and come back. I love you. Mom.

Maddy: fhuwnJNRNJN jOIWJFJNBJjhbibefbdhnnekjheb8 Ty josh and jenna got me and jordand an Ahsleyand marrkk drink and i'm havingsm mush fun MISS UUUUU

That was enough texting drunk people so I decided to go to sleep. I left the Office playing on our tiny tv. Right as I was starting to fall asleep I heard a buzz from my phone. It was a text from josh. It was a photo. It was a dickpic. “Great to know my boyfriend thinks about me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think because i crave your attention. also do you like how i shortened up the notes i know you do.


	4. hehehe dick pics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CHAPTER TODAY WHAT?????/???? i love this chapter a lot, probably my favorite thing i've written. okay bye

My head was killing me. I shouldn’t have been drinking cause now I can’t take my meds and I thought bringing everyone back to my hotel room would keep us safe from the parent’s wrath but that just left me in a bed with five other people that was uncomfortable to begin with. I carefully pulled my legs out from under Maddy and Jordan’s where they were tangled together at the bottom of my bed. I also had to unlace myself from Mark and Jenna’s arms, sneakily grabbing my phone out of Jenna's hands. Finally I jumped over Ashley who was basically falling off the bed. I quickly texted both my parents and Tyler/Maddy’s parents to tell them that we were safe and that I said I would help them give Mark the Dun/Joseph tour of Columbus while he was with us. Obviously this was true but it just wasn’t happening at that very second. I checked for any texts I might regret from last night. Somehow there was a dick pic that I sent Tyler even though I didn’t recall taking it. It must have Jenna which sounds very awkward but you know she was drunk, I was drunk, dick pics happen and I didn’t see a negative response from Tyler so. Actually I didn’t see any response from Tyler. I mean it could have been because it was still way too early for him to be up or maybe because he wasn’t doing well. “OH god what if something bad happened to him or what if he hates me now and doesn’t want me to come home because he fell in love with someone else, I mean that is something that I totally possible and not too far a stretch because i'm not the best boyfriend. I mean a lot of the time I just make people more stressed and lash out at them and don’t do a very good job at protecting the people I love. I bet he is going to break up with me and I will have to find a new place and..” I hadn’t realized I was talking aloud and had woken up Ashley until I felt a large blanket fall on top of my head. “I can't believe your entire carry on was just a giant alien blanket and an iPad what kind of traveler are you?” she slid down the wall next to me. “Abby is going to be pissed that we didn’t take her after she sees this you know.”  
“That's like the least of my worries.”  
“ I know big bro I'm just trying to take the other thing off your mind. Here give them to me.” she made grabby hands at my hands that were pulling at my hair which was in desperate need of touch up.   
“I sent a dick pic to Tyler and he hasn’t responded so obviously he is going to dump me for some better man. Like a hot actor. Like a hot actor man back in LA that I will never compare to and I will have to move back here and then you are going to get married and then Jordan and then Abby and I will still be single with like fifteen cats just thinking about how amazing Tyler is and how famous he will be because of his hot actor husband and their amazingly attractive famous children. I WILL NEVER GET TO HELP FATHER TYLER JOSEPH’S CHILDREN OH GOD WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT IN LIVING.” By this point I was sobbing into Ashley’s shoulder and she was stroking my hair.“Joshua if anyone in the family is close to getting married it's you, I mean how long have you two been dating like five years? Six? God I wish I had a relationship that lasted that half that long! do you know how hard it was to get Andrew to come and we have been dating for a year and a half! Ty would come in heartbeat if you asked him to! That boy is so in love with you it's not even funny. Joshua William Dun do you know how lucky you are to have a man like that? If only mom and Dad knew! God you would be having Tyler's kids next week if they knew!” she had gently grabbed my face with her hands while she talked. “Really?” I said meekly looking up at her with tear stained eyes. “Yes, Josh. Your relationship is more stable than anyone else in this room’s.”  
“Ash, you and I are the only ones in relationships!”  
“Well its more stable than mine! Now let's get these bums up and get them some nice big breakfasts to soak up all that booze!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok hello its probs not as good as i hyped it up to be but whatever. PS i love the Russo brothers community and captain america the winter solider are so good.


	5. My names blurryface and i'm a giant dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh btw josh's hair is like super faded pink/blonde cause he looks really good with his hair like that and totally not cause that's my current hair color cause its totally not HEHEHE

My power was out. I had people to email. I had things to do. I needed music. It’s too quiet and there is nothing, no sound. It was too quiet. I had no one. Everyone was gone. I couldn’t breath or stop crying. The power was.out. I messaged josh. I told him everything. I let it all out over the course of fifteen minutes and five messages I let everything out. He didn’t see it though. He was probably busy, he was across the country with his family and i'm just sitting on our bed crying about a power outage. I turned music on. “You're just a whiny baby bothering the one person that seemed to care about you. But that's over now isn't it. Why even do that, there is nothing he can do. He probably won’t even respond because he doesn't care about you.” I skipped ten songs. “ no one cares about you. All the people you live with, they all just pity you. They know you can’t do anything for yourself you are just a disaster and they know it. They don’t really care about you.” I skipped three more. “ What about Jenna? She texted me a bunch yesterday. She said she missed me. She said she loved me. She cares about me. Right?”  
Five more. “Ha! You know she knows your parents, they probably had her say that to you because they need you to think people care about you just like they told Maddy and Zack.” Still no reply from josh. “They need you to think people care about you. I mean they can't have people find out they have a failure for a son. They can't let that little secret out, imagine the gossip. It, no you, would ruin the whole family's reputation Jay would be teased at school. Maddy would be shamed at church. Zack would move out.” my phone dinged. It was from josh. “ I told you he would message me back.”

Tyler, are you saying you aren’t going to be able to get into work tonight?

“Ok he messaged you but he totally missed the point. He doesn't care about you. HE just cares that you get to work. That's it. He doesn't care about you and there is nothing you can do about it.”  
I got up. I couldn’t stop moving. “There is nothing you can do about it. You just have to suffer.alone. It's time to leave Tyler. Go to work. Suffer. Then come home. And suffer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Icona Pop's Girls Girls is so fucking good guys ps most of these fucking chapters are based on real things that happened to me and this in particular brings up some bad memories soo yeah.


	6. No Way Dun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes please like me

“Shut up Jordan you know nothing about nothing about music their first album was wayyyyy better than their third and their fourth was complete trash!” Maddy shouted from the back seat of my rental car. Jenna and Mark had gone home and I was in charge of taking Maddy back home before going to my parent’s house.   
“ Um Maddy are you freaking kidding me their fifth album was by far their worst and their fourth was a close second I will give you that but their third album was no contest the best musical album ever. Period!”  
“No way Dun!”  
“Yes way Joseph!”  
“Guys stop yelling in the car, we’re almost to Maddy’s house and then is is back to mom and dad’s okay?” I was having a little trouble focusing on the road so Ashley pointed over to the closest parking lot and we switched. I put earbuds in my ears and turned it all the way up. I let the kick drum push against my brain and the guitar press my skull in. The weight of the music crushed me until I couldn’t think about anything else. I noticed the car stop at Tyler’s parents house. I missed Tyler. I pulled out my phone and texted my friend Debby. I knew Tyler was at work and I didn’t want to interrupt.   
Debby can you talk about that thing  
Debby: …  
Me: please  
Debby: ….  
Me: actually nvm its stupid and I don’t want to bother you  
Debby: are you sure  
Me: yeah bye  
Debby: Bye bb boi  
Me: SOrry  
Me: like really sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess i love dodie clark so fucking much dear god


	7. tyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't think i could make the chapters shorter did you? Well jokes on you

I got home later so I had food at work. I didn't get a lot of tips today and I hardly talked to anyone at all. Everything was too much. Everything was too little. Nothing made fucking sense. It was too fucking hard. Everything was just too fucking hard. It was too quiet but I could not do anything. The day after tomorrow was the last day I had to work. I didn’t know what I was going to do while I was not at work. I pressed my thumb into my thigh. I pressed harder. I pressed my nail in. I pressed harder. Tears streaked my face. I started to see blood. I took my hand off and grabbed one of the band aids off my side table. I pressed it on with a little more pressure than was necessary. I took deep breath. I put on music. I drank some water. I locked all the doors. I locked my own. I pulled all the blankets up to my face. I let myself cry. It was uncomfortable. I grabbed my phone and opened my messages. To josh.  
I'm sorry.  
I grabbed my notebook and opened it to a new clean page. I started to write and I didn’t stop until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I passed out with my phone dying , my notebook in one hand with the other clutching my hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've stopped like triple proof reading these cause im like real sad all of a sudden so im sorry for any errors


	8. SmOke wEeD EVerYdAy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry we have a long chapter in a little bit

I couldn’t sleep. I was so tired I couldn’t handle it but I could not sleep to save my life. My hotel room was cold and empty. It was the first time in so long my bedroom has been empty. Even the last two nights I had people in my hotel room because the first two days I was there Jenna and Mark were still hanging out with us. I was regretting not taking up my mom’s offer to stay at her house. The only reason I said no was because of the out of state family members were staying at the house and I didn't want to intrude on ash and andrew at her house. I pulled out my phone to check for notification but there weren’t any. I put it down after quickly scrolling through social media and getting more anxious because of it. Everything was too intense and too much and everything was awful and I didn’t know what to do. I got up, got all my things and went downstairs. I somehow convinced the lady at the front desk to let me check out even though it was 3 am. I got in my car and drove all the way to my parents house before realising that I had no way to get into the locked house. I did the first thing I could do and called Jordan. It rang once. Twice. Three, four… “Hello?” a slurred voice finally picked up on the phone. “Jordan, will you let me in the house, i'm downstairs right now.”  
“God damn it, Joshua! It is 3 am I need sleep, i'm a growing boy!”  
“You’re only six years younger than me!!”  
“Okay what does that have to do with me needing my sleep.”  
“Okay I just need to be let into the house and then you can go back to sleep!”  
“If you don't care about your sibling's sleep why didn’t you call Abby?”  
“Because she's just a baby not a full grown man that is still living with his parents, to lazy to move into the dorms.”  
“Fine. I’ll be there in a minute but you’ll have to stay in my room cause your room has grandma and ashley’s boyfriend is on the couch.”  
“Wait ashley has here this whole time?”  
“Yea but it's three am and her bf is here what do you think she is doing?”  
“Ew.”  
“Yeah. okay I gotta hang up while I walk downstairs. BRB bro.” he hung up and I grabbed my bag from the back of the car hoping I didn’t leave anything to the hotel even though I knew I didn’t. I ran up the front walk as I saw Jordan open the door. “Get in quick before anyone wakes up.” he pulled me quickly in. I caught a glimpse of Ash and Andrew on the couch. They weren't being to gross but I still flipped them off. How come they got to cuddle together while I was separated from Tyler. “Are you okay bro?”  
“Yeah, i'm fine.”  
“Did you take your meds today?”  
“I can’t within 24 hours of drinking and I got shit face yesterday so no, I didn’t take my pills today.”  
“Well do you want to go to the woods and get high?”  
“What the fuck Jordan? These are not words you want to be saying feet from both mom and dad and grandma!”  
“Okay but I have weed and you have a anxiety and a weed card so I was thinking you might want to go get high with me.”  
“I thought you wanted to sleep?”  
Well if it's between getting high and sleeping i'm going to pick getting high.”  
“Fine let me just put my stuff in your room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked this chapter.


	9. tylexblurry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so I stayed up way too late and now everything is going wrong

“Good morning, tyler. Your phone is dead. Too bad you aren’t too. Better plug it in just in case someone texts you right? Like someone would text you! Go take a shower, try and get clean. You're a disgusting human Tyler at least try and make yourself look presentable, you have work in…. Well what time is it? 10:00?? Tyler you have an hour you lazy child. GO GO GO. don’t bother getting food you don’t deserve it. Get in the shower. Hotter. Hotter. Alright I guess. Scrub harder. Come on get all of it off. Good enough, go get dressed so you aren’t late. No not that shirt it makes you look fat. No those pants will make people think you're stupid. That jacket makes you look like you're trying too hard. Oh god you're going to be late get to the car. Don’t forget your phone idiot! Keys. shoes. Let's go. Watch out as you pull out of the driveway. Watch out for that car you fucking moron. No wonder noone likes you are a such a fucking stupid person. Finally you got here, good thing you're not late this time . you know they are probably going fire you soon. Ugh you're so bad with the customers. I can't believe you haven’t been fired yet, tyler. You are such a disappointment. Well now it's time to go home.  
Go. you don't deserve music tyler. You're such a fucking burden tyler. A fucking attention whore. Stop crying you fucking baby. You are a fucking burden that no one cares about okay. You are a disappointment. An attention whore that doesn't care about anyone else. You're a fucking failure of a god fucking damn person. You should just go kill yourself. In fact why don't we do that right now. Go to brendon’s room. He kept all of his old pills cause he doesn’t know where to get rid of them. Okay take some of these. WAIT! Did you write a note? God you fucking idiot, go do that. Thank you. Now we can get on with it. Take half of this bottle. okay all of that one. Good job. At least you can do something right. Okay good night tyler.   
“Tyler? Hello??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna post again today before we get to the long chapters gET HYPEd


	10. oh nO (weird self harm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the chapters are going to change a bit after this, they are going to be like longer with parts from both TyJo and Josh but that will be tomorrow hope you enjoy.

“So Josh, how is life suiting you in California?” My great aunt had me caught with all my siblings talking to relatives or boyfriends in Ashley’s case. “Things are going just fine Aunt Carol.” I didn’t tell her how much I missed my boyfriend or how I thought that her Facebook was racist or how I had pulled two too tight hair ties I stole from Abby onto my wrist and was now slowly cutting off blood flow to my hand. I pushed on the side of the bands as she moved on to talk to Jordan about how school was going.i watched the little bit of fat on either side of the bands move as a squeezed and the boniest parts of my wrist. As I moved to eat I got pins and needles. I could see it get slightly discolored. I nudged at Jordan. “Hey i'm going to step out for a minute, kay?” I felt pain shooting across my hand as I moved it about. Jordan nodded as I pushed my chair back. “Josh, honey, where are you off to?” My mom turned up to look at me. My hand had turned pinker and slightly swelled up. I hid it behind my back so she wouldn’t see. “I’m just going out for some fresh air.” she nodded too but looked a little upset I was leaving a family dinner. I quickly made my way back to the front of the building. With my bad hand I pulled out a cigarette. I tried to quit cigarettes, I really did but this was too much stress and I couldn’t just pull out a joint in public with my entire family just inside. After lighting it, taking a deep breath in and out, I pulled out my phone. My hand was hurting more and more. I thought about taking them off, it was bad to keep them on, but I fucking deserved it.suddenly my phone buzzed in my hand. Tyler was calling. I picked up as fast as I could, pulling my cigarette out of my mouth, Tyler hated it when I smoked. “Dude!” that was not Tyler’s voice. I took a puff. “You need to hop on the fastest flight back here!”  
“Bren, why are you calling me on Tyler’s phone.”  
“I thought you would answer faster.”  
“uh huh, sure.”  
“ Also mine is dead but that is besides the point , you need to get home as soon as fucking possible dude!”  
“What are you having a party.”  
No, Josh, babe,it's Tyler.”  
I drop my cigarette. My hand is tingling worse than ever.  
“I'm on my way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps not all of the chapters will be like that some will still be like this ok ly bbs


	11. But first let's make out. Or oops there they go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this isn't how hospitals work but fuck you it's my story.

“Holy shit! Tyler, thank god you woke up! Are you feeling okay? I mean obviously not but like overall how do you feel? Do you need something because I would be more than happy to go get you anything. Oh and Josh is on his way don't worry.”  
“Brendon, shut the fuck up!”  
“Wow he speaks.” sass bubbled up from the corner.  
“ He just got out of a fucking coma after trying to kill himself and that is what you say.”  
“ Well I just thought he knew that I am glad that he isn’t dead but whatever. TYLER! I LOVE YOU AND I AM GLAD YOU AREN’T FUCKING DEAD.”  
“Jesus, Pete, do you need to scream, I apparently just got out of a fricking coma.”  
“Is no one going to mention that Tyler “i never curse” Joseph just told Bren to shut the fuck up” Patrick was there too shockingly (well who else would be there to keep Pete and Brendon in control when I was in a coma (is it even called a coma if I was only out for, shoot how long was I out for?))  
“Is no one going to mention the fact there are way more people in here then normally allowed. Please tell me it's just you three.”  
“Well for now, winky face emoji.”  
“Shut up,Pete! Fuck off with your sass we have no time for this we need to catch Ty up since he's back with us in the world of the living.” It seemed like Brendon was actually trying to be helpful.  
“Or maybe you could stop talking for once, Breadbox Urine.”  
“I will fucking fight you right now.”  
“Guys our best friend just tried to kill himself maybe now is not the time!” Patrick finished talking just as a nurse came in because my life is a movie with perfect timing i guess.  
“Mr. Joseph, I see that you are awake. Too bad your guests neglected to tell me.” she glared very heavily at Brendon which was worrying but at the moment I was not in the mood to deal with it.  
“Fortunately at least one of them has answered most of my questions for you. I just have couple more.That means your friends here will have to leave us for a little and go wait in the waiting room.” She ushered the boys out much to their chagrin. “Alrighty let's get started. What do you last remember before you passed out?”  
“Umm I remember grabbing a whole bunch of pills from Brendon’s room and taking my note with me before laying on my bed and everything going black.”  
“Okay that lines up with…”  
“TYLER!” He was here! He rushed over to me and pulled me, carefully, into his lap, wrapping himself around me.  
“I'll come back later.” I didn’t pay much attention to the nurse as she left. Josh pressed kisses into my face, neck shoulders, everywhere he could reach without moving me much. “Baby, I came as soon as I could but there weren’t very many flights available.”  
“How long was I out? Where is my family? Are you doing alright? AM I doing alright?”  
“Ty, take a deep breath. You were out for about a day and a half. Your family is on their way here. I am doing fine And hopefully soon you will be too.” he leaned down to kiss me again.  
“TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH!” Frick.  
☆☆☆☆  
I hated Tyler's parents. After what happened last time. God they were awful. I just wanted to hold on to my boyfriend and let him tell me he was going to be alright. I wanted to have him curled upon my chest, let us share our breath cause hell we were both still breathing. I never wanted to leave his side ever again he was too important. I was leaning down to kiss him again when his parents burst in. I froze. I saw the desperation in his eyes. I couldn’t move. I tried to tug away but his hands pressed to my face. “Fucking kiss me Joshua or I swear to god next time I will really die.” I pressed my face to his as hard as I could wanting everything to stop and it to be just me and him, together like this forever. But it didn’t work  
☆☆☆☆  
Josh tried to pull away from me, he looked terrified,but I didn’t let him. “Fucking kiss me Joshua or I swear to god next time I will really die.” He pressed his face into mine and I forgot all about my family. Suddenly we were being ripped apart. I tried to hold on to him but he was being pulled out of my room. “JOSH!” his name tore through my throat. “TYLER!” I could see him reach for me. “What the fuck was that, Tyler.” my mother was standing over my bed. I could see my siblings cowering in the corner. “I could ask you the same fucking question, mom.” I pushed the nurse button. “I told you I was gay! You said you didn’t respect my choice, I told you it wasn’t a choice and you never brought it up again. I had really hoped you had accepted me.” I was on the edge of tears, they threatened to spill if anyone made a wrong move.  
“I didn’t raise you to be like this Tyler, I didn’t raise you to be a…” oops there they go. With Tears running down my face I didn’t think I would be able to continue.  
“TYLER!” Josh sprinted into my room and fricking pushed my mom away and got up on the bed with me. Seconds later my dad ran through the door. Josh was kissing my head and my mom was still screaming at me. “Chris, why aren’t you taking care of this? This disgrace!” that was it. That was all I needed to get my second (really first) wind I gently pushed Josh off of me, kissing his nose (which made my mom screech) I carefully stood up. I could see a couple nurses arriving, finally. “Kelly, this is my boyfriend whom I am very much in love with. If you or anyone else in this room have a problem with that, you can leave. If not you may stay with me seeing as I just tried to kill myself the other day. If you have a problem with leaving, these nice nurses here can, i'm sure, show you the way out and back to the airport. Thank you.” I laid back down because honestly I just tried to kill myself and come out of a mini coma less than an hour ago. “Zack, can you go get the boys from the waiting room?”  
“ No, Zack we're taking you home so you can pack up your stuff. Tyler has made his decision to be gay and so I guess he has made the decision not to be in the family.”  
“Why would I want to move out? This changes nothing for me. It just means that I won’t see YOU anymore. I am staying with Ty and Josh. I always will.”  
My mom was shocked. “Fine you and Tyler can stay out here.You're lives are here and I guess that mean you're abandoning your families. Come on kids.” Maddy looked heartbroken but Jay… Jay seemed to want to leave and… it was one thing for my parents to disown me right after I tried to kill myself, but Jay agreeing was worse. I couldn’t believe it. He was the only one of my siblings who didn’t know because I thought he would tell mom and dad but I never thought he would react this way. I pressed my face into josh’s chest. I cried. The boys came back into the room. All that was heard were my sobs and the beeps from my monitors. Eventually Tatum came and got Zack. Patrick drove Pete and Brendon back to the house. I told Josh he could go back home. “Why would I go back home? I am never going to leave your side ever again.” And he held me until we both fell asleep.  
☆☆☆☆  
I slept for the first time since I went to Ohio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can people i admire stop noticing me cause i can't handle it.


	12. LLLLLLLLooooovvvveeeelllyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i highkey hate this chapter but whatever here it is. ps its only Tyler's POV yes

“Are you sure you want to stay here? Your parents want you back don't they? Josh you have a family.” It was Christmas eve and I had just gotten out of the hospital.  
Josh and I were chilling in bed. Okay I might have been on bed rest and constant supervision but whatever. I hated being the weaker one. I just wanted to take care of my boyfriend. I knew he had problems and if I hadn’t been so fucking selfish he wouldn’t be stuck taking care of me.”I am sure I want to stay here, Tyler.”  
“But what about your family?”  
“They will understand. Plus you don’t have a family now so we have to make you a new one.”  
“I’ll have the boys and Jenna is coming back late tomorrow. I am going to be fine Josh, okay? Go see our family.”   
“ GOD DAMN IT STOP TRYING TO BE STUPID AND BRAVE. I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND WOULD RATHER BE HERE INSTEAD OF WASTING MY MONEY TO GO LIE TO THE PEOPLE I USED TO LOVE BECAUSE I Fucking LOVE YOU TYLER AND I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE YOUR SIDE EVER AGAIN.” Tears had started to fill his eyes. They streaked clean lines down his cheeks. He looked so young and pure. I felt ripped in two. I was scared. “I don’t want to lie anymore, Ty.” he whispered to me, hands fisting in my shirt. “I can't keep telling them i’ll find a girl someday because I know that that isn't true because i'm never going to find anyone else because it's you, Tyler. You're the one and I never want to be apart form you ever again, I never want to have to leave you behind or for me to hurt as you go away. I love you too much Tyler I hurt. I hurt to see you hurt and I hurt that I can't find the stupid fucking courage to tell my parents but I love them so much I don't want to lose them and I couldn’t do what you did and stand up to my parents if they told me they hated me. I’m not as strong as you and I admire the shit out of you for it” he was holding on to me for dear life. He was shaking violently and his face was pushed so far into my chest that his sobs were near silent. “Jishwa I will always be here for you. I love you so much.” I couldn’t think of what to say. He had taken all my words.   
You say things with your mouth  
Cobwebs and flies come out  
I hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow  
Luckily I can read your mind  
Flies and cobwebs unwind  
They will not take you down  
They will not cast you out, out.  
So try to love me and I'll try to save you.  
Won't you stay alive  
I'll take you on a ride  
I will make you believe you are lovely  
Won't you stay alive  
I'll take you on a ride  
I will make you believe you are lovely  
I take a deep breath. That was cheesy. I'm too cheesy. Can i not.  
“That's a new one.”  
“Yeah I was writing while you were gone. It's not done yet.”  
“You always have the right song for the situations, Tyler. How do you do it?”  
“ I I don’t know what you mean.”  
“You always just already have a song to break the silence, like remember the day I left we were laying right here and you said you just wanted to take everything slow that day and right away you had a song already in your head. It’s like you can just like see the future or something.”  
“Maybe my life is just the same situations over and over again.”  
“Nah, I think that you just have the same feelings over and over. Like the situations are different.”  
“ Well, I am an emotional dude.”  
“You're my emotional dude.” he was kissing me. It wasn’t too much this time. (thank god for small miracles) It might have actually been to little. I might have gotten a little needy, I mean we hadn’t gotten to do anything in awhile, but some little fuckboy had to walk into our room at that very moment without even knocking, ruining all of our fun. “Hey guys, you know how much I would love to join you guys, but keep your clothes on cause we are going out for dinner!” I glared daggers at him and let Josh do the talking, I mean normally I would but that was rude, right! Except Josh wasn't talking. He was also glaring daggers at Brendon too.“Bebbo, not only am I on bed rest, I was also hoping on spending some much need quality time with my boyfriend since we haven’t been alone for a week, plus its two pm right now like what the heck. Anyway you can go get us some taco bell and I will see you in an hour.” I stared him deep in the eye and waved him out of the room. “What do you want from taco bell Tyguy.” he sighed dramatically, throwing an arm over his face as he walked out of the room.  
“Get my usual! Thanks Bren, see you in an hour. LOVE YOU.” I went back to hugging the boy on my lap who was getting increasingly wiggly when we heard another knock on the door. “WHAT??” The door peeped open but it wasn't Brendon, it was Patrick.  
“Do you want a drink with you taco bell?” I threw a pillow at the door. Which made him close it and leave. “Dang it Tyler I really wanted a Pepsi!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life sucks but we can do it okay bye im gonna go cry ly


	13. Ew  gross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its short but aren't you used to that by now like oops

“Josh. josh get up!” someone’s voice roused me from my peaceful sleep. I sat up thinking it was Tyler but he wasn't there. I Looked around panicked until I saw a thin naked frame in the window. I got up but as I got close I realized it wasn’t my boyfriend. It was something, human like but not human. “Wheres Tyler?” I knew it. I just knew it was bad and it wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t know if it would hurt Tyler though. It was dark in the room even though we had fallen asleep at like 2 pm. I thought it was strange because the boys went out to get dinner for us even though it was early, the boys can eat anytime. It still hasn’t answered . “Where is he.” he turned to look at me,his eyes hurt my head to look at, like the sun or Tyler's smile. “who,your little pretend boyfriend. Yeah he's gone. I took care of him.” he pushed my hand off his arm and stood up. He was exactly my height and looked green in the moonlight. “What do you mean you took care of him. I just nearly lost him I don’t want to go through that, or worse, again.” I pushed him up against the wall next to the window. “I know you care about him so I had to take him away. You remember what father said ‘the only thing that comes out of loving someone is our own pain’.” I spit on his face but it came out red. “That is not true and you know it. Now give him back.” I pushed my hands into his chest but he pushed back. I lost my balance and went flying back landing hard against my drums. I heard not only the sound of my set (those cost a lot of money) but also my bones crack with the force of the push. I could barely move my arms but I lunged at him. We ended up on the ground in front of our closet. I dug my finger into the green flesh, speckled with red from my blood. I pushed my arms up to his throat and used my feet to pin down his arms. “Where the fuck is my boyfriend?” I push down harder and tried to fight against the pain but eventually it became too much. It started to go darker and my hands started to relax and all I could hear was his awful cackle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got to see spiderman again and its amazing still i am in lve with Zendaya and Tm Holland and Donald Glover bless


	14. No Pepsi for JJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes i missed you also don't worry long chapter tomorrow i promise. just a little more after this too.

“We are home bitches, are you all sexed out, cause we have taco bell for Depression Boy trademark, that's your superhero name tyler just btw, yes Patrick I just said btw out loud back off buddy boy.” Brendon walked in loudly, awakening me from my nap. Not Josh though, he was still sound asleep, nuzzling gently against my chest. “Okay we’re coming in!” I nudged Josh awake and gestured to the boys carrying our food. His face lit up so brightly you’d think that he was seeing his child for the first time. Like I love taco bell but this was crazy. I mean his face, like holy crap dude. Okay I was like out of it and Pete and Patrick were already sitting on my bed, looking at me, faces full of food. “Sorry I was thinking about Josh’s face.” I blushed. So did he. “You guys are gross.” Brendon said, sitting down on the edge of my bed, joining Pete and Patrick.  
“Umm look at yourself, mister “I-Talk-With-My-Mouth-Full”.” Patrick set his gordita down to do massive air quotes with his fingers.  
“I will throw down, fedora man.” Brendon said before shoving half a taco into his mouth.  
“Don’t hurt Patty, who else will take care of us while Dal is off with his family?”  
“Jen is getting back tomorrow!” josh peeped from the far corner of the bed.  
“Hey the boyfriend talks!”  
“Yeah, but at what cost! Come on Joshie, I know you don’t really feel that way about our Patrick right?” Pete had started to squish Patrick, who was trying to get out of his tight hold.  
“Well he didn’t get me a Pepsi even though I texted him like four times!”  
“Wait, why do we have so many mom friends?” I piped up completely ignoring Josh and his need for terrible drinks.  
“Because we are friends with Brendon and Pete, Josh can be persuaded easily and you will do whatever josh does. The real question is why we only have one friend at isn’t a dude.”  
“Maybe cause whoever is in control of us just likes us seven best.” Brendon was still talking through his food  
“Or maybe because none of us can talk to girls.” Pete said, letting go of Pat’s face and had occupied his hands with the hem of his shirt.  
“Wow speak for yourself, before Tyler I had a ton of girlfriends, K?” josh muttered before taking a drink of Patrick's drink, which he stole back in an instant glaring at josh.  
“Okay sure, Josh, I’m sure everyone here believes that Tyler is just the latest in a long line of girlfriends.” Pete reached over and pat my head gently  
“Wait no that's not what I meant!” Everyone was laughing, even Josh whose face was as red as the hot sauce smeared all across Brendon’s face (Can you believe that man pays taxes). I felt so good to just be laughing with my friends and enjoying life. It was such a cheesy day of eating shitty food and making fun of each other but I was so glad I could experience it and now I sound like a cheesy hallmark movie and am changing the writing tense so I better move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave me comments please even if youre hating i just need attention. see you tomorrow hopefully earlier than this ly


	15. The straw thingy (what even is that called though)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys just a couple chapters after this :'( im thinking of writing a sequel but idk we'll see when its all over okay long chapter lets go. ps i have occasionally misspelled Zack's name and i do that here sorry Zack i had a friend named Zach and so its still strange for my to type it like Zack sorry

It was Christmas day and everyone was getting back today so we were having the “family” Christmas party with a real dinner and gifts and a movie so Brendon and I went out to get supplies. “Are you sure Tyler will be okay?”  
“Yes of course he has ‘trick with him, he will be fine. Now what's the address again Ty gave me his GPS to find the store. Lucky for us there's one open, sadly it is like 15 minutes away without traffic so let's get going.”

☆☆☆☆  
Where was Zach? It was Christmas Day and I was cleaning up before people got there for the party. Josh had finally left the house to go shopping with Brendon and Pete, leaving me home alone with Patrick. Mark and Jenna were on their way back from the airport but where the heck was Zach? I hadn’t seen him the day I got back from the hospital either. In fact the last time I had seen him was the day after my parents and I fought at the hospital and he went to see his girlfriend… TATUM. Patrick’s in the shower so I shout out to tell him i'm going out.  
“What? Tyler did you say you're going out cause you need to wait for me!” But it was too late I was already out the door and down the front steps. I looked at the texts I had sent him in the last four days and he had hardly replied at all just a couple texts here and there. I thought I knew the way to Tatum’s apartment but I had very quickly gotten lost. I was starting to panic and I couldn’t keep my eyes on the road so I pulled off into a parking lot for a playground. I had no idea where I was and I was in Josh’s truck and I didn’t have my GPS because I gave it to him and Brendon. Why did I think I could just show up and take him home? What thought process went through my head for us to end up here? I need to get home the party is starting in two hours and I still have to get myself ready. I needed to get home. I pulled up the map on my phone and put in my address. Josh was probably on his way back home so I had to get there fast. My phone said I was only five minutes away from home because of course I was. Of all people I would have a panic attack about being lost while only being five minutes away from home.  
But it's okay I will be home soon and Josh will be there and he will make me feel all better.  
☆☆☆☆  
“PATRICK MARTIN STUMPH WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BOYFRIEND?” I leave Tyler with Patrick for forty minutes and he fucking goes missing. “Dude calm down, I heard him yell out something and the door slam about ten minutes ago, I would have told you sooner but I had to you know get the fucking shampoo out of my hair and dry off. Actually I wouldn't expect you to know about drying off seeing as you never do it.”  
“Come on Patty, now is not the time to shame Josh on his disgusting habits, we need to find Tyler.” Pete pulled gently at Patrick’s hand, leading him and Josh to where Brendon was standing at the door with his arms crossed. “And where were you during all during this, Peter?” Brendon blocked them from exiting the house. “B, what would I have to do with Tyler’s disappearance? It's not like he was murdered?”  
“How do we know that, maybe you did kill him! We just almost lost him- oof!” Brendon was pushed to the ground from the door which suddenly swung open. “TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH WHERE IN THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN WE WERE DYING, ESPECIALLY POOR JOSH WHO, FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A WEEK THOUGHT HE LOST HIS BOYFRIEND!” Brendon yelled from the floor. As I looked at Tyler I noticed he was crying. “Bren stop being a dick hat, Ty, babe, are you okay?” I stepped over Brendon and picked up Tyler after checking to see if he was okay with me touching him. “Tell me when people get here. I'm going to go be NICE to Tyler and not be dick about somethings that's not even that big of a deal!” I was pissed at Brendon so I turned around to (try to) storm out, carrying Tyler who had gotten the front of my shirt wet from his tears. His body was shaking from the sobs and he felt so tiny cradled in my arms like a baby. I got to our room, quickly undressed him, and tucked him up under the blankets. I pulled all the extra blankets off the chair in the corner and piled them on top of his still shaking body. I grabbed the water bottle off our side table and pressed the straw thingy (what even is that thing called though) to his trembling lips. “Drink, Baby Boy, you need to stay hydrated! Whoa slow down.” after he had his fill I carefully put it back on the table before laying down next to him, shucking off my pants and tugging some of the blankets off his no longer shaking body. “Do you want to talk about it?” he shook his head and burrowed his face under the blankets and up to my chest. I brought my hands up to his hair as he continued to wriggle closer and closer to me until he was basically on top of me and promptly fell asleep. At least he was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am dying my hair today and listening to new music and guys change is good,like im so pumped okay bye ly


	16. Kicking Josh Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones cute also tomorrow is the last day so es look forward to this being over also my hair is great and blue and i love it

I woke up to josh shaking me. “Baby, jen and Mark are here!” he pressed a kiss onto my forehead. “But i'm not ready yet!” I whined at him. “You look amazing.”  
“That's no fair you always say that!” I got up out of bed and went over to the closet to get some clothes that were suitable for people that I am not having sleeping with.   
“Maybe cause it's true.” Josh walked over and helped me grab some pants that were stuck under some other clothes. “Okay whatever you say, lover boy!” I started taking off my (little amount of) clothing. “Shut up it's true. Go ask anybody in the house” I looked at him, naked. He looked me up and down. “Okay first of all, eyes up here mister and secondly, I should get dressed before I go and talk to anybody, so leave me alone.”  
“Uhhh I don’t want you to get dressed though.” he whined “You were the one who told me to get up, I could still be happily in my underwear right no but instead here I am, awake and having to get dress. AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!.” I yelled the last bit at him. He finally nodded and sat down on the bed. Suddenly (uhhh I hate using the word suddenly it seems so forced. I'm sorry for saying suddenly.) Out of nowhere there was a loud banging on the door. “JOSHUA WILLIAM DUN, I LET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT FOR TWO MINUTES AND YOU HURT MY BABY TYLER! I swear to god if neither of you come out of there in the next ten seconds i'm going to expect you two to be in an actual fist fight and will, swear to god, break in and pull you two apart!” it was Jenna.   
Josh looked at me rolling his eyes and I threw my balled up shirt at his face before going to open our door. “Everything all right, mom, josh just woke me up so I had to get dressed and then STARTED COMPLAINING ABOUT ME GETTING DRESSED.” I turned around to yell the last part at him but he just shrugged grinning. “Jesus christ guys I thought I was going to have to kick josh out of the house. Not because I hate you josh I don’t, you're the best but you know it's ty.”  
“No no I perfectly understand I would kick my own ass if I hurt Ty. Anyway seeing as he is finally dressed how about we head out and get presents.” he and Jenna started down the hall to the living room when a sudden realization hit me. “FUCK.” josh and Jenna jumped at my scream. “Guys I never got anybody any presents! I meant to get them while you all were out of town but then the… thing happened and I never got around to it.” I could feel tears start to drop down my face and seep into the collar of my sweatshirt. “ I’m so fricking sorry guys I had such good gifts planned I promise. I will go out and buy them this week I promise.” my words weren’t coming out steady but as soon as the last one shook out of my mouth I could feel both their pairs of arms around me. “It's okay ty ty. We understand and even if you don’t get us gift we’ll love you, okay.” Jenna squeezed her arms tight around me, how she got to me before josh I have no clue. “Yeah baby we honestly didn't expect any gifts from you knowing how much you procrastinate.”  
“Hey!”  
“It's true!”  
I shifted in their grasp to face josh. “Just because it's true doesn’t mean you have to say it”  
“Sure it does”  
“Does not”  
“Does so”  
“Does not”  
“We'll have to get back to our guests like a responsible adult so I better head back out to the living room.” Jenna started to back away from us, obviously suppressing a laugh before turning and running down the hallway, laughter trailing behind her, leading us to follow, leaving our petty argument behind us to go and spend time with the people we loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay see you tomorrow for the end ly


	17. I've got soul but I'm not a soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not doing great. life is tough and it keeps getting but with the end of the story we can both suffer.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ps its hella short but hat else would it be .

im sorry  
☆☆☆☆  
I wake up the next day still riding the high from all the love from my “family” last night until I sit up to see i'm alone with a cold spot where my lazy (cute and smart and funny and caring and oh so amazing but still lazy) boyfriend should be. It's only 7 so everyone else is still asleep. Or should be. I make my way out of our room and into the hallway. I can see all the lights are off in the living room, kitchen, and all the bedrooms but it is on in the bathroom. I run down and knock on the door. I don’t hear anything and knock again louder.”Josh?” I don’t get a reply so I open the door and immediately a scream leaves my mouth. I can’t think or feel all I can do is see. See his body lying limp. Blood everywhere, wrists slit open, red and brown and every color in between. Soon I feel a pair of hands pulling me away. I can’t hear anything but I see Mark going up to check his pulse. There are tears in his eyes as he turns around but also hope. He tells one of the boys to call 911 and another to get him some gauze. I can’t breath as Jenna pulls me down the hall to our room. “It's going to be okay. I promise.”  
☆☆☆☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the weird rhyme. if you think i should make a sequel or explain myself or make like a series tell me , if not i hope you at least kind of enjoy the story. thanks,  
> Evie.  
> ps ly

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to update regularly since ive like already written it all but nO promises. also please tell me if you liked it. also also hopefully my notes will get better as we go.


End file.
